Green Insanity
by FairySinGirl
Summary: Basically an insanity involving St. Patrick's Day at Avengers Tower when Tony Stark tries to go around pinching everyone, and Loki and Keira also paint Thor's hammer Mjolnir green, followed by more insanity involved.
**Green Insanity**

 **(It's St. Patrick's Day at Avengers Tower as Tony Stark tries to go around pinching everyone for not wearing any green.**

 **Disclaimer: I think it's pretty clear that I don't own the Avengers or Loki. But Keira Hart is mine.)**

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 **Green Insanity**

Keira and Loki, as well as a reluctant Thor, were in the main living room of Avengers Towers one day just watching the anime Fruits Basket, until Tony Stark suddenly decided to interrupt them.

 _"Keira, Loki, you're both next for the 'Pinchafier 3000' for not wearing any green,~"_ Tony said in an eerie-sounding voice, while extending a mechanical arm -that he just barely finished making like only a few minutes ago- out towards his two targets.

Keira, however, merely unleashed a fireball on it the minute she noticed. "Burn, Pinchafier, burn," she said monotonously, while Loki simply just snickered despite not knowing what they meant by 'Pinchafier'.

Tony's expression was now changed to reveal a mock pout. "Aww, and I just barely finished working on that. It's St. Patrick's Day, and you guys aren't even wearing green."

"I beg to differ," Keira replied, pointing to the green headband she was wearing as well as the green hair scrunchie she had in her hair, and not to mention she had even went so far as to paint her fingernails and toenails different shades of green as well.

"Well you sure went all out," Tony commented.

"Yes, yes I did," Keira replied. "And as for Loki, his eyes are green. And anyone with green eyes still qualifies as wearing green. And also he is wearing green too."

"Although I really have no idea what you and Stark are going on about," Loki pointed out.

"And I am just as equally confused as well," Thor added. "What is so special about this St-pat-sticks day that makes us have to wear green? And are your eyes not green as well, Keira?"

"It's St. _Patrick's_ Day, Thor," Keira corrected him. "And honestly, I really have no idea who came with such a ridiculous holiday. I just blame the leprechauns for creating it," she added with a mischievous grin. "And my eyes are actually hazel, which is sort of a mixture of green and brown."

"Although it probably could still qualify as a shade of green," Loki told her, making her blush a bit.

Tony, meanwhile, suddenly burst out laughing at Keira's leprechaun theory. "Haha! You just blame the leprechauns for St. Patrick's Day! Now that's just too funny!"

Thor and Loki just exchanged confused looks at that.

"And as for the green," Keira added. "It's basically just the traditional color of St. Patrick's Day. And usually if you don't wear green, you get pinched. Which I think is just plain ridiculous. And don't even get me started on leprechauns. Although, _Thor_ isn't wearing any green," she added slyly.

Tony suddenly perked up at that. "Well then in that case, Point Break, you get to say hello to the Pinchafier," he said gleefully, while Loki and Keira were snickering.

"Uh, hello P- ow!" Thor was now rubbing at his arm, as Tony began cackling maniacally after finally getting to pinch someone and proceeded to high five Keira and Loki for his success.

"Was that really necessary, Man of Iron?" Thor asked him.

"Yeah, pretty much," Tony replied gleefully. "Hey it's your fault for not wearing any green, you know."

"Thor actually hates green anyway," Loki pointed out dryly.

"That just gave me a great idea!" Keira said cheerfully. "We should totally paint Mjolnir green," she whispered to Loki, just so Thor wouldn't hear.

Loki smirked mischievously. "Do we have any green paint?"

"I have some down in my lab that I used for painting the Pinchafier," Tony pointed out.

Loki then teleported to Tony's lab, returning a few minutes later with three cans of green paint and a couple paint brushes, while Keira brought in a table to set Mjolnir on.

"Thor, could we borrow your hammer for just a few minutes?" Keira asked. "Pretty please! We promise we'll give it right back."

"And just for extra reassurance, we will not go overboard with what we plan to do with it," Loki added, using his Silvertongue charm for extra persuasion.

Of course, that only made Thor look skeptical. "This wouldn't happen to have anything to do with the paint now, would it?" he queried.

Loki smirked mischievously. "Perhaps. However, I really shouldn't take the credit away from Keira for discovering it."

"Discovering what?" Thor asked skeptically.

"I'm so glad you asked," Keira replied, smirking. "I just so happened to discover a new way for polishing hammers, and I've just been dying to actually try it out. And yes, it involves paint. So if you would just kindly set Mjolnir down on this little table I got out for it, we can get started."

Thor was still looking even more skeptical. "Loki, I'm starting to have every reason to believe that you are corrupting Lady Keira with your mischievous ways."

"And congratulations on just barely figuring that out, Thor," Loki stated dryly. "You have just proven that your brain truly is the size of a pebble."

"Seriously? Are you two ever gonna get along?" Clint asked, joining their conversation.

"I doubt it," Loki replied, again dryly, as Thor reluctantly set Mjolnir down on the little table.

Keira suddenly began humming the song _'Painting the Roses Red'_ from the Disney movie _'Alice in Wonderland'_ as she and Loki began to paint Thor's hammer, much to the confusion of the two Asgardians.

Loki soon gave her a questioning look as she was humming. "Dare I ask what you are singing?"

Keira began giggling. "It's a song from the Disney movie Alice in Wonderland. The song is Painting the Roses Red, and for some reason painting Mjolnir made me think of it. And now it's making me wanna watch that movie."

Tony snickered. "Oh I get it, because you guys are 'painting Mjolnir green'. But personally, I still think that movie's a bit weird," he said, adding that last part a bit more seriously.

Keira grinned. "Now I'm totally gonna parody that," she said, as she began to hum the intro part of the song before singing the words. Or rather, her parody words. _"Painting Mjolnir green, we're painting Mjolnir green. We dare not stop or waste a drop, so let the paint be seen. We're painting Mjolnir green, we're painting Mjolnir green."_

"Ok, now that parody is just plain weird," Clint stated dryly.

"Couldn't agree with you more, Legolas," Tony agreed.

Keira, however, only smirked and continued singing. _"Oh, painting Mjolnir green. Though many find it obscene. Because today's St. Patrick's Day, so we do it anyway. And so we go ahead, painting Mjolnir green."_

Loki, meanwhile, had suddenly burst out laughing at her insanely hilarious parody.

Thor sighed. "If you two are quite finished with your insanity moment, could I please have Mjolnir back now?"

Loki only responded by smirking mischievously, while dipping his paintbrush into the paint and flicking it right into Thor's face. "Does that answer your question?"

Keira snickered. "Well at least he has green on now."

"That's true," Tony commented.

"Very mature, brother," Thor stated dryly, as Loki flicked more paint at him.

Paint fight!" Keira declared, flicking paint at Thor with her own paintbrush.

"Are you sure it's a paint fight? Because to me it looks like a 'fling paint at Thor' fight," Tony joked.

Loki then waved his hand and one of the paint buckets suddenly appeared over Thor's head, while Keira tried to hold back an outburst of laughter as Loki then made the bucket flip upside down and fall right onto Thor's head.

"LOKI!" Thor exclaimed, as Keira and Tony both suddenly burst out laughing.

Loki snickered. "Yes, Thor?" he replied innocently.

Keira giggled. "Ok forget about painting Mjolnir green, when we can paint Thor green instead."

"I don't see why we can't do both," Loki suggested.

"Loki, could you please refrain from covering me in paint?" Thor asked.

"Sorry Thor, but that's not an option for you," Loki replied smugly after pretending to consider it for a bit.

Thor sighed before picking up Mjolnir and calling on Heimdall to open the Bifrost and returned to Asgard.

"Aww, and just when we were having fun painting Mjolnir green too," Keira groaned.

"But at least we have succeeded in humiliating him," Loki replied, smirking mischievously.

"Well that's true, and you did say he hates green, right?" Keira said.

"And speaking of green..." Tony suddenly used his 'Pinchafier' to pinch Steve on the arm as he was walking into the room. "You're not wearing any green either, Cap."

"Really, Tony?" Steve told him just as Tony also pinched Clint, Natasha, and then Bruce for not wearing green. Although pinching Bruce turned out to be a huge mistake as he suddenly hulked out and began Hulk Smashing Tony's Pinchafier.

"Way to go, Tony," Keira commented dryly.

"Whoa, calm down there King Kong, I was just kidding about you not wearing green! Of course I already knew you were automatically wearing green, so you can stop smashing things now," Tony exclaimed frantically while trying to calm the raging Hulk, which unfortunately only seemed to make things worse.

"Tony, you're only making things worse," Steve told him.

It took a while for everyone to finally calm Hulk down, as he eventually shrunk back down into Bruce.

"I would appreciate it if you didn't do that again, Tony," Bruce calmly stated.

"Well I guess I did get a little carried away there," Tony admitted.

"Now there's the understatement of the century," Loki stated dryly. "You were doing that on purpose just so you could get a reaction out of all of us, were you not?"

"Ooh ouch, perceptiveness just won out over genius," Keira commented dryly.

"Well wouldn't you like to know, Reindeer Games?" Tony replied smugly.

Loki suddenly smirked mischievously and snapped his fingers, suddenly turning Tony's hair neon green.

"Ok, definitely not cool now," Tony stated, after noticing his hair.

"Aww it's too bad, because now we won't get to pinch Tony as payback," Keira said, though she was snickering at Tony's now neon green hair. "Although I have to admit, it is an improvement."

"Oh just you wait till April Fools Day, Reindeer Games, because I plan on getting you back for this," Tony said.

Loki smirked. "I doubt it, but I wish you luck anyway, Stark," he replied, as Tony then left to head to the nearest prank store to stock up for April Fools Day.

Loki then turned to Keira. "So what exactly is April Fools Day?"

Keira suddenly grinned mischievously. "Thought that would have been obvious. It's where you go around pranking people, which I'm sure the God of Mischief himself is all too familiar with," she added slyly, winking at Loki who smirked back in reply.

"So, shall we start stocking up on pranks as well?" Loki inquired. "But none of those cheap Midgard pranks you have here that never even work, though. And did Stark even notice that he just left while his hair was still neon green?"

Keira suddenly burst out laughing at that. "Apparently not," she replied. "Oh well, not our problem, right? Anywho, yes, let's go plot our pranks for April Fools Day."

And that was how they spent the rest of the day, plotting April Fools pranks and cackling evilly as they did so.

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 **LOL! I know this is like way late now for St. Patrick's Day, but I suddenly ended up being distracted by other stories that I'm still working on as well. Anywho, I hope y'all still enjoy this anyway. And who wants to see Loki on April Fools Day? Let me know. *cackles evilly*** **And yes, this one-shot was sort of inspired by the song Painting the Roses Red, which is indeed from the Disney movie Alice In Wonderland. ^_^**


End file.
